Re-Inventing Emma
Emma is a truly remarkable young woman.
She is an accomplished author, motivational speaker, advocate and stroke survivor.
I had the pleasure to meet and spend five days with Emma in June 2018. She is a witty, intelligent and kind woman who touches the soul of all who cross her path. Her story is confronting and her subsequent recovery nothing short of inspirational. I am lucky to be able to call her a friend. If anyone needs a strong dose of courage and a reason not too accept excuses in your own lives look no further !
Emma was a vibrant healthy 24-year-old Occupational Therapist and exercise enthusiast ,carefree , ambitious young woman when the course of her life changed dramatically. After waking from a stroke, unable to move, speak or engage in the life she had known, she has taught herself to walk, talk and adapt to a life so different to the one she was used to. Emma is a true example of someone who empowers others to be the best version of themselves and is testament to how grit, determination and learning how to master the mind can lead to powerful and amazing adventures. Her book ‘Reinventing Emma’ is a must read! I was so thrilled and honoured to be able to ask Em some questions that I thought may be helpful and truly inspiring to others.
Tell us about yourself!
I was working as a full-time Occupational Therapist & was an avid runner, when I was diagnosed with an AVM (Arteriovenous malformation) in my brainstem at 24 years of age. In removing this, it bled & I had a stroke & went into a coma. I was unable to move, speak or swallow. I definitely was unable to return to my previous role as an OT. Although physically impacted with significant speech, balance & visual deficits, thankfully I was cognitively unscathed. I began tapping into meaningful things and focussing more on my ability & not my disability. Applying to my own life what I’d tried to teach my earlier patients in my OT career , and adapting to my environment & the ways in which I carried out everything - figuring out how I could best use natural modalities such as moving, my mindset, to better manage my everyday. The last 13 years have been spent reinventing myself. In relearning to talk, I began an Inspirational Speaking Business – where I speak internationally about resilience & person–centred care. Sharing my own story, my dual insight as a therapist & survivor/ patient/ person to hopefully empower others in their own lives. I also went onto publish my book – Reinventing Emma, to hopefully impact a wider audience with my message. This is an observational memoir based on my own experience but was written to help others in their own difficulties.
Who are your role models?
My Aunties – both amazing humans that have overcome so many health obstacles yet continue to live a phenomenal, balanced life & contribute so much!
What advice would you give your 20+ YO self?
To not worry about the future & focus more on ‘living’ now. Getting a good balance of work/rest/play & making sure each area incorporates something you enjoy doing. Also, prioritising time with your family & friends & investing moments in generating memories that you’ll always remember. To take opportunities when they arise as they may never pop-up again. This list is endless! Unfortunately, it’s often not until somethings taken from us that we see the huge value it had on our lives! I don’t know that my ‘ invisible’ 20 year old self would’ve listened, but I think making sure I incorporate time-out to reflect on & generate lessons from the obstacles I did face, would’ve been a great habit to begin with. Perhaps then, when other obstacles blocked my ambitious-self, I’d maybe have some habits & tools to lean on – make the difficulty easier to withstand.
What advice do you have for those juggling work/life balance?
Incorporate meaning into you life – constantly incorporate time in your life to rebalance this & factor in activities that serve you, build you up. The self-esteem you gain, lessons you derive will only mean that you will be more productive in the other areas of your life!
What is your biggest fear/weakness?
My biggest fear is not being able to sustain my positive mindset , so important in engaging in the activities I love. Once I probably would’ve said, ‘dying’ or ‘being confined to a wheelchair’. However, that doesn’t scare me now – I know that the physical obstacles I encounter make things harder, but it’s our mindset that holds us back. Another fear I have is not having my supports around me – being alone!
What is your guilty pleasure?
Dark Chocolate!
What is your biggest achievement?
Writing my book I think.
What are your goals for the next 5 years?
I try & not focus too far ahead. I think setting goals is important for us & our supporters to guide us but creating sub-goals leading to those is vital. Waiting 5 years to travel or write a book etc is a bit overwhelming without establishing stepping stones to this. I also think stopping, reflecting and perhaps changing the route or the goal is easily overlooked/ The importance of stopping to celebrate your accomplishment. I’ve definitely found this harder to do in my stroke recovery as many of my achievements seem to be easily performed by others, therefore taken for granted, so I’ve felt a bit silly in acknowledging them. However, I know that this is essential in sustaining momentum in one’s life.
So, I hope to go travelling around Europe in 2019, maintain my pain management regime of doing yoga & swimming regularly, try & not travel with work so much (doing more online) & aim to begin writing more. As you can see, I haven’t any massive goals – I want to be content in 5 years. Whatever Im doing, making sure it balancing work/rest & play is pivotal!
Tell me something about yourself no one would know.
I think most people know so much about me so this is tricky! I’m quite open so this is hard……I am an identical twin!
How important is self care to you and what do you do to relax/unwind/rebalance?
I always say (and continually learn) that you can’t be good for another if you’re not feeling good yourself. For me, ensuring a structure my day with activities like yoga & swimming where I can stop, reflect & refuel is essential in sustaining what I do. Those self-care activities also help me manage my chronic nerve pain. They both physically & emotionally set me up for the inevitable obstacles I encounter in my day. I know I am so much more present, productive & grounded as a result. Initially, I felt guilty incorporating these ‘me time’ activities into my day, but overtime know they are essential. Seeing friends & family, going away alone or with others is another means of self-care for me too. Loving what you do when you go to work I think is essential too – doing something where you feel valued!
What is the secret to your success?
I think I would definitely contribute any of my successes to a combination of a few drivers in my life. Namely my amazing support network, a persistent mentality, my mindset and reinventing who I am. Accepting overtime to accept what I couldn’t change and then change what I could! Engaging in things that were meaningful to me has been instrumental in ensuring I can remain grounded & balanced.
How do you deal with peoples perception of you v’s your reality? Do you encounter any prejudice?
Everyday I face this prejudice – I’ve learnt though to take ownership of my reaction to this. To choose to be proactive rather than reactive! This mindset is harder to sustain when I’m in pain, tired or unwell – feeling more vulnerable. That’s where having good support to advocate for you & elicit a ‘positive’ aspect to each situation, is so important.
You have been through a lot! How do you stay positive & keep getting out of bed in the morning?
I think overtime I’ve taught myself to not focus on what’s hard about everyday – I think if I let myself, I wouldn’t get out of bed. However, I am positive & have learnt that many of my obstacles (like my pain) are chronic & therefore I’ve learnt to try & let them travel with me but not dictate what I do too much. In my everyday there are so many other obstacles, I know that I can only withstand them if I can keep a positive mindset. It is also important though that I acknowledge my negative thoughts, tough times – I’m human & definitely have days where I just want to sit with the difficult things. I’ve learnt that this is healthy & okay - vital! Advocating & educating with my own difficulties make it all worth while – that definitely fuels me to get up!
How did you come to be a public speaker who inspires so many?
In relearning to speak – I was adamant to, in someway communicate my experience as a patient & survivor – to unleash what had become trapped as a result of my inability to verbalise or communicate as I’d once done.
If I was to print a t-shirt: what would your message on it be?
“It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you choose to deal with it!”
Emma is a glowing example of how we look at the person and not the disability and her story should remind us to act with empathy, respect and kindness … she is a beautiful woman with amazing gifts .. her ability to share them with others and help those in the process is so very powerful x